You probably all know how I feel about bullying! I detest that any child may be picked on by their peers for any reason. Being a child is hard enough. Many children face learning disabilities, broken families, illnesses, and lack of adequate food, shelter, hygiene products in addition to the awkwardness of growing and changing so quickly. They do not need any more obstacles. I fight bullying through my child and the Girl Scouts in my troop. I am always on the lookout for a better way though. I have trouble wrapping my head around why kids act like this. I think I have figured it out!
Have any of you seen the hoopla around new mom’s figures lately? The media was all over Kate Middleton. They went so far as to commend her for showing her little baby bump. Then there was coverage of what she looked like only a few weeks later. More recently I have seen two different new mothers that posted pics of their impressive post baby bodies. There are actually people being nasty to these mothers because they were able to somehow achieve awesome bodies soon after childbirth.
Have my eyes and ears been closed tight for years or is this a new thing? When did it become everyone’s business? Why is it a topic of conversation? Are we, as women, so insecure that we need to trash other women when they accomplish something amazing? I still have my baby bump. My “baby” is 9 years old. I am not threatened by mothers whose bodies bounce back quicker. I’m sure they had to work hard to get that way. I’m also sure they had to give something up to look like that. Who are we to judge others bodies? Each of us makes choices every day. We choose what we want to spend our money on, how much we want to work away from the home, whether or not to send our children to daycare, what we eat, how much we exercise etc. This really isn’t anyone’s business or place to comment on.
Bullying is starting at home. Adults are teaching children to be bullies. Media is constantly making snippy comments about someone’s cellulite or weight gain. They go out of their way to show the famous in a negative light. They spread malicious rumors that are not true. They are bullying them. Parents, you’re not off the hook either. Have you ever ran into someone at the mall and made a comment later about their weight, hair, or clothes in front of your child? What do you think that is doing? Society is teaching children how to act. Our children are learning to bully from many angles.
I am guilty of this. I have had poor judgment and made comments in front of my daughter that were not nice. I realize now how harmful this behavior can be. I would like to stop it before it gets any worse. I may spend the rest of my life in silence, but I vow to think before I speak. If it isn’t nice and serves no necessary purpose, I’m not going to say it. I want to at least be fully aware of what my daughter is learning from me. Am I teaching her it is ok to talk bad about people?
I also want to address gossiping. Gossiping is a nasty tool of people who are insecure and/or don’t have enough to keep them busy. I have realized that conversations with some people always turn to gossip. I am trying to find a way to put a stop to that. Sometimes I find myself drawn in before I even realize what we are doing. Any suggestions on that would be greatly appreciated. How is my daughter supposed to stand up to bullying though, when I let someone ramble on about so and so’s divorce or hair extensions?
The bullying problem can be helped right in your home. Don’t buy the gossip rags or watch celebrity trashing on tv. Explain to your children that not everything they read or see is true. Discuss how this may make the person feel. Make sure they know that spreading rumors and talking about people is harmful. Then monitor what comes out of your mouth. They will do what you show them not what you tell them. Please don’t teach your child to bully!
